do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my being single is dangerous.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
