You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
