You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
