I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You smell like stripper and shame
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my being single is dangerous.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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