I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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