Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
only if we run a train.
done.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
