I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
