I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
