how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
