I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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