weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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