if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
