I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
