exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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