all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
