That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
