I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
