If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
