I'm drive I can fine osifer
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
