I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
soo... how was my night?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
