Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish i was in the wii world.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
