Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
