Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
