I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
