Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
