I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He has the fingertips of a God
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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