Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I didn't notice because vodka
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
