Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
