We won't sleep together?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i out mim tonsoeep
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