oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
