so that wasnt chicken after all
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Randomize
