we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
