DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
