girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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