im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
