i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
