whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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