why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
COCAINE IS GR8
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
