hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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