i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
