Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
