i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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