HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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