Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
