Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
