I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
