Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
