dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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