I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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