ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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